X-Men Evolution: Next
by Drekkler
Summary: A humorous take on a next generation of the X-Men evolution cast, includes Rachel Summers, and Luna Maximoff, plus a hoarde of made up characters! Recently added episode 3! Sorry for the long wait, guys!
1. Damn man, how many times has THIS been u...

**X-Men Evolution Next**  
  
By Someisa // someisa@dork.com // spoonybard.nu  
_An odd take on the future of X-Men Evolution in the form of humor._  
  
**********  
  
Prologue - The Cliched "Who's this and what do they do" Info section  
  
Name: Jack Wisdom  
Parents: Pete Wisdom and Kitty Pryde.... at least that's what HE thinks  
Alias: Intangir  
Age: 15  
Superhuman Powers: Is like a combination of Husk, Mystique and Shadowcat. Can turn his body or any part of his body into a liquid/fluid subtance that can pass through all solid matter, morph into an object, and mess up computers and electronics.  
Classes: Visual Arts I, Enlgish II Honors, Biology I Honors, Introduction to Psychology, Gym, Algebra II  
  
Name: Rachel Summers  
Parents: Scott Summers and Jean Grey  
Alias: Red/Phoenix  
Age: 16  
Superhuman Strength: Class 10 (Red), Class 50 (Phoenix)  
Flight Speed: Flight is generated by her telekinesis, speed is usually low and various (Red), Subsonic (Phoenix)  
Superhuman Powers: Telekinesis like her mom and can lift items upto twice her own weight; later becomes a host for the Phoenix and can shoot fire and project energy fields.  
Classes: IB English III, IB History of the Americas, IB French IV, IB Chemistry, IB Mathematics, Symphonic Band  
  
Name: Mercedes (Benz-)Worthington  
Parents: Warren Worthington and Betsy Braddock  
Alias: Psy Chick  
Age: 15  
Superhuman Strength: 10  
Superhuman Powers: Telepathy like her mom, and learning howto make Psychic Knives. Can also read tarot cards and palms.  
Classes: English II Honors, Geometry/Trigonmetry Honors, Spanish III, American History, Physics Chemisty I Honors, Visual Arts II  
  
Name: Trey Martiam  
Parents: Two unknown people we dun give a damn about  
Alias: Cactrot  
Age: 16  
Running Speed: Upto 50 MPH, speed mostly used for quick wide range cactus spike throwing  
Superhuman Powers: Another Marrow rip-off! This one can make cactus spikes he can project from long ranges in any length.  
Classes: English III, Visual Arts III Honors, Auto Tech I, American History, Human Physiology and Anatomy, Algebra III/Trigonmetry  
  
Name: Warren Worthington IV  
Parents: ..... guess  
Alias: Azreal  
Age: 15  
Superhuman Strength: Wings have Class 50 strength  
Flight Speed: Subsonic  
Superhuman Powers: Has death black colored wings, and can become invisible at night. He also has a fightfully demonic appearance in the night, that looks somewhat like the grim reaper.  
Classes: English II Honors, World History Honors, Algebra II, Biology I Honors, Business/Computer Applications II, German I  
  
Name: Luna Maximoff  
Parents: Pietro Maximoff and Crystalia Amarquelin  
Alias: Fenrir  
Age: 17  
Superhuman Strength: Supposedly Superhuman Class 500  
Running Speed: Upto 500 MPH  
Flight Speed: Subsonic  
Superhuman Powers: Luna's body, metabolism system and mind work at least 10 times faster than your average human being. This calls for an extra flexy body that she can flex and twist and bend into lots of different shapes. She can also block all forms of TK and TP she comes in contact with.  
Classes: IB English IV, IB 20th Century World History, IB Theory of Knowledge, IB Mathematics II, IB Art Design, IB Chemistry  
  
Name: Lyla Erickson Daniels  
Parents: Some guy and Evan's new wife  
Alias: Magnitude  
Age: 17  
Superhuman Strength: With added magnetic power, at least Superhuman Class 50  
Superhuman Powers: Pole is capable of manipulating metal and magnetic fields. Its not at as great as calibur as Magneto (doi!) or Polaris yet, but is still strong for a teenager.  
Classes: English IV Humanities, Fiber Arts, Spanish IV, Trigonmetry/Pre-Calculus, Physics I Honors, American History AP  
  
Name: Felicia Drake  
Parents: Bobby Drake and the brave woman insane enough to marry him  
Alias: Kelvin  
Age: 14  
Superhuman Powers: Like her dad, Kelvin can emit and manipulate ice. She can make ice that is upto -0 degrees K if she really tried, and can resist all cold temperatures. However, her body's ice invulnerability makes her very weak against fire.  
Classes: English I Honors, Gym, Geonometry/Trigonometry Honors, Biology I Honors, World Geography Honors, Spanish I  
  
Name: Kate Markes  
Parents: Uh.....  
Alias: Hippe  
Age: 16  
Intelligence: Has strong knowledge of the earth, envoirment, trees, plants, animals, etc.  
Superhuman Strength: Her vines have Superhuman Class 25 strength.  
Superhuman Powers: She can turn her fingers into vines, or just plain shoot them out of her hands, back, anywhere on her body. A strand of her hair can turn into a sharp bladed rose. She can make it any length she wants to turn it into a sword or a dart. She can also fly, and when she comes in contact with a flower seed, she can make the flower automatically bloom under any circumstance.  
Classes: English III Honors, Trigonmetry/Pre-Calculus, Physics I Honors, American History AP, German II, Computer Science AP  
  
Thus ends the Prologuey "chapter."


	2. Jack can't play soccer for Jackshit

**X-Men Evolution Next**  
  
By Someisa // someisa@dork.com // spoonybard.nu  
_An odd take on the future of X-Men Evolution in the form of humor. In this episode, Trey Martiam, the human cactus boy, is recruited by the X-Men... not much else._  
  
**********  
  
Episode 1 - Jack can't play soccer for Jackshit  
  
Scene: Jean and Scott are at the airport with Evan, Warren, Betsy, Rogue, Kitty, Pete, Rachel, Jack, and Mercedes.  
  
Rogue: Ya sure ya don't wanna take the Black Bird?  
  
Jean: Nah.... something tells me you'll be forming your OWN little group of X-Men and you'll need the Black Bird because it'll all magically happen while we're away.  
  
Kitty: Hey, like, why are you guys going away anyways?  
  
Scott and Jean: Second Honeymoon!  
  
Rachel: Oooooh! Send me a postcard, will ya?  
  
Jean: Yes dear, we will...  
  
Rachel: And I'll call everydaaay!  
  
Jean: *disgruntled* I'm sure you will....  
  
*The Crew leaves while Scott and Jean give their tickets to the ticket lady*  
  
Ticket Lady: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUSE me! We are only boarding Rows 29 through 15 now!  
  
Scott: Uh, we're in Row 14, can't we...  
  
Ticket Lady: NOOOOOHOOOOOOO! You pick up yer carryon's, and sit yer asses down!  
  
Scott: .........  
  
Jean: ..............  
  
**THEME SONG**  
_The X door is shown, then opens, and all the X-Men stumble out. The older X-Men stand there and hang their heads at the kids and shrug. Then we see Jack passing through a wall, and kicking a soccer ball..... at his head. The name "Intangir" appears below. Then, Rachel is seen levitating items to herself, the name "Red" appears below. Mercedes is chewing out Trey for calling her Mercedes Benz, and sends a mind bolt at him. Then she's seen project a psychic knife, and "Psy Chick" appears. Trey runs around screaming like a little girl, then is hopping up, and spins around in a circle while launching cactus spikes. The name Cactrot appears. Then, he turns and sees who he's shot them at... it's Luna. "Fenrir" appears below, and she dashes and kicks him into a metal wall. Nighttime, Warren IV is seen sitting on the roof, staring into nothingness, "Azreal" appears. Then, Lyla and Luna are shown fighting, and Evan and Pietro are shown in the background.... drinking starbucks. Lyla then opens up a metal wall, and projects a magnetism field. The name "Magnitude" appears. After, Felicia is running around being hit by fire, then screams, and freezes the fire, and the pyromaniac, in mid air ala matrix, and the name "Kelvin" appears. After, flowers and stuff are shown, and Kate makes a flower instantly bloom, then she's singing on an acustic guitar with the others in the BG sweatdropping and "Hippie" appearing. Theeeen, the group is seen posing for a picture, but Trey fires a spike at Lyla by accident, and she freaks out then rams everyone over, and the picture is taken with Trey standing at the back looking down at everyone else who's fallen over. Then the words "X-Men Evolution NEXT" appear. THEE end._  
**END THEME SONG**  
  
**COMMERICAL BREAK**  
**END COMMERICAL BREAK**  
  
Scene: Its a Friday Night Soccer game in Bayville, and Jack's on the Soccer Team.  
  
Jack: *scores another goal* WOOT! I bad!  
  
Coach: YEA! YOU ARE! YOU SCORED A GOAL FOR OUR OPPONETS!  
  
Jack: Oops.....  
  
Coach: TO THE BENCH WISDOM!  
  
Jack: Yargh.......  
  
*Jack sits down on the bench. Kitty is trying to contain an angry Pete*  
  
Pete: GOD DAMMIT BOY! YOUR SUPPOSED TO GET A GOAL FOR YOUR SIDE! NOT THERE'S!  
  
Kitty: PETE! Shut up! Let ME take care of this! *Kitty forces Pete down* YOU IDIOT! WERE LOWERING YOUR ALLOWANCE FOR THAT PIECE OF SHIT PLAY!  
  
Jack's Friend: Your parents.... they're really.......  
  
Jack: Interesting?  
  
Jack's Friend: Yea..... hey look! That reject kids who eats flowers is being picked on by a bunch of bullies because he stole some money!  
  
Jack: Really? How'd you know that?  
  
Jack's Friend: I just so happen to be a telepath, but no one finds out until season 2!  
  
Jack: Oh....... cool... uh, hey, coach?  
  
Coach: WHUT!?  
  
Jack: Mind if I take a break?  
  
Coach: HELL no! Go ahead and quit the team if you want!  
  
Jack: Errr......... ok....  
  
*Jack goes to see that the reject kid, Plume, is being picked on by a lynch mobbish type personas*  
  
Jack: HEY! Let 'em go! He didn't do nutin'! ...... right?  
  
Jerk #1: Yea right! He slept with my sister! Twice!  
  
Jerk #2: And he stole my sister's virginity! Twice! Er, once!  
  
Jerk #3: And he stole my coronas! Three times! That's this many! *puts up 10 fingers*  
  
Jack: *cocks eyebrow and smirks trying to hold back laughing*  
  
Plume: He-ey! Its all for the good of America! Y'know?  
  
Jerk's: REALLY!?  
  
Plume: Yea! Uh..... see....... uh.......  
  
Jack: Yea.... uh, I can't think of anything to say either... MERCEDES!  
  
Mercedes: *suddenly magically enters though she can't teleport* Yes?  
  
Jack: Uh, use yer super cool special power to change these guyses memories, would ya?  
  
Mercedes: Sure! But, what shall we use a distraction?  
  
Jack: ....... uhm.....  
  
*Two seconds later, the whole school blows up*  
  
Mercedes: *wrapped in bandages in Betsy and Warren's car* So, which one of us did that?  
  
Jack: *riding home with Mercedes, same situation* Uh..... gee, I dunno.  
  
Professor X: *in government confinement* That was me..... my bad....  
  
Jack: Uh, who was that?  
  
Betsy: What was what?  
  
Jack: This weird voice inside my head...  
  
Warren: *haults slamming the breaks flinging every forward* He's hearing voices? Call Pete and Kitty.... they're son's seriously derranged....  
  
Jack: Wuh-what?  
  
Scene: Later, at the X Manion, Pete and Jack are both on seperate phone lines playing Phantasy Star Online Version 2. Instead of a regular team, they're both playing each other a game of Lobby Soccer.  
  
Jack: YEA! I SCORED A GOAL!  
  
Pete: *walks into his room* GOD DAMMIT! NOW WHY THE HELL CAN'T YOU DO THAT ON THE ACTUAL SOCCER FIELD?  
  
Jack: Uh...................  
  
*Rachel joins on _her_ own seperate phone line*  
  
Rachel: *comes into Jack's room* You guys wanna make a team?  
  
Jack: Oh, sure. Make it...... The X-Geeks, password Mome Rules, Ariel Block 10.  
  
Rachel: Ok, I'll go start the team since I have the most areas opened.  
  
Jack and Pete: Bragger....  
  
Scene: The next day, everyone rushes downstairs*  
  
Kitty: HURRY! X-MEN EVOLUTION'S ON!  
  
All the adults but Pete: *huff, puff*  
  
Pete: See, that's one of the advantages of no spandex, its easier to run!  
  
Adults: *moan at Pete*  
  
Mercedes: Doesn't it seem weird watching a show we're in?  
  
*The crew is seen doing the same things they're doing on the TV*  
  
Both Pete's: Yea........ kinda like a picture in a picture thing.  
  
Both Mercedes's: *gasps* WEREN'T WE SUPPOSED TO PICK UP THAT NEW RECRUIT BOY FROM THE TRAIN STATION!?!  
  
Everyone: *eyes widden and they freak out, then, in uniform, they all quickly run out*  
  
**COMMERICAL BREAK**  
**END COMMERICAL BREAK**  
  
Scene: Bayville High, the Principal, Principal Grungey, is talking to Plume.  
  
Grungey: *petting cat, pinky in mouth, talking like Dr. Evil* Its my understanding you have...... *puts fingers up and does the quation marks sign* "special" powers.  
  
Plume: Uh, yea. I can like, manipulate uh gravity, and stuff, and like, use it to like, crush things and like, stuff.  
  
Grungey: As you would say....... cool? Yes, indeed. Now, Plume, I also understand you've become somewhat of a....... *quotation mark thingie* "friend" of Jack Wisdom.  
  
Plume: Uh, yea, we're like, homies' and like, stuff.  
  
Grungey: I see...... Jack Wisdom has...... *quotation marks* "special powers," per se, and there's others like him, and they all live in that bigass mansion of there's. Now, LISTEN TO ME! YOU WILL INFILTRATE THEIR MANSION AND FIND OUT AS MUCH AS YOU CAN! Understand?  
  
Plume: UH, why should I?  
  
Grungey: *roars like a lion* 'CAUSE I FRICKKIN' SAID SO!  
  
Plume: *eyes widden, and runs off whimpering* EEEEEK!  
  
Scene: The Train Station. Trey Martiam is waiting to be picked up.  
  
Trey: *yawns* Where the hell ARE these people!?!  
  
*Suddenly, the entire group arrives, and while trying to stop, skid around a pole, almost deck a man, and ram into a wall*  
  
Group: WE'RE THE X-MEN!  
  
Trey: ............. ok.  
  
Rogue: Ah, dangit!  
  
Pete: What is it?  
  
Rogue: Its been 20 minutes!  
  
Pete: Yea, so?  
  
Rogue: End-of-episode taime!  
  
Everyone but Trey: THANK GOD!  
  
Trey: WUHHHH?!?! YA MEAN I DON'T GET TO FIGHT PLUME 'CAUS YOU GUYS WERE LATE!?!  
  
Everyone: ...... yea.  
  
Trey: GOD-DAMN-IT! 


	3. Razor Darts and Death Angels

**X-Men Evolution Next**  
  
By Someisa // someisa@dork.com // spoonybard.nu  
_An odd take on the future of X-Men Evolution in the form of humor. In this episode, Mercedes' brother arrives in Bayville, and Trey gets a girlfriend._  
  
**********  
  
Episode 2 - Razor Darts and Death Angels  
  
Scene: Jean and Scott are in the Bahamas.  
  
Jean: DAMN its nice to get out of the house.  
  
Scott: Yea, really... so, whatta ya thinks gunna happen to the kids today?  
  
Jean: Well, based on the fact that this is a next generation piece-of-shit, most likely they'll get a new allie.  
  
Scott: ..... typical.  
  
**THEME SONG**  
_The X door is shown, then opens, and all the X-Men stumble out. The older X-Men stand there and hang their heads at the kids and shrug. Then we see Jack passing through a wall, and kicking a soccer ball..... at his head. The name "Intangir" appears below. Then, Rachel is seen levitating items to herself, the name "Red" appears below. Mercedes is chewing out Trey for calling her Mercedes Benz, and sends a mind bolt at him. Then she's seen project a psychic knife, and "Psy Chick" appears. Trey runs around screaming like a little girl, then is hopping up, and spins around in a circle while launching cactus spikes. The name Cactrot appears. Then, he turns and sees who he's shot them at... it's Luna. "Fenrir" appears below, and she dashes and kicks him into a metal wall. Nighttime, Warren IV is seen sitting on the roof, staring into nothingness, "Azreal" appears. Then, Lyla and Luna are shown fighting, and Evan and Pietro are shown in the background.... drinking starbucks. Lyla then opens up a metal wall, and projects a magnetism field. The name "Magnitude" appears. After, Felicia is running around being hit by fire, then screams, and freezes the fire, and the pyromaniac, in mid air ala matrix, and the name "Kelvin" appears. After, flowers and stuff are shown, and Kate makes a flower instantly bloom, then she's singing on an acustic guitar with the others in the BG sweatdropping and "Hippie" appearing. Theeeen, the group is seen posing for a picture, but Trey fires a spike at Lyla by accident, and she freaks out then rams everyone over, and the picture is taken with Trey standing at the back looking down at everyone else who's fallen over. Then the words "X-Men Evolution NEXT" appear. THEE end._  
**END THEME SONG**  
  
**COMMERICAL BREAK**  
**END COMMERICAL BREAK**  
  
Scene: Bayville High, Jack is running laps on the field.  
  
Jack: *huff, puff* I..... feel..... like......... crap.......... ugh. Times like this........ I wish I could.... run fast.... like that girl..... at PS5...... wow...... does she have fine legs..... ooh...... ahh.......  
  
*Suddenly, a girl trips over Jack*  
  
Girl: AAAAAAAAH!  
  
*Jack gets up slowly, and accident touches her breasts*  
  
Girl: HENTAI! EECHI! HENTAI! EECHI! WHITE WOMAN IN TROUBLE!  
  
Trey: *runs over because he's in Jack's gym class even though his classes don't say he is* JACK! YOU DUMBASS!  
  
Jack: IT-WAS-AN-ACCIDENT!  
  
Girl: WAAAAAAH! HE-HE TOUCHED ME!  
  
Trey: Where?  
  
*Girl points to chest*  
  
Jack: Wuh?! What I touch? You have a freakin' flat chest girl!  
  
*The girl smacks Jack into the stands, and everything falls*  
  
Girl: HMPH! PERV!  
  
Trey: Now, Jack, that wasn't a very nice thing to say to her.... apologize!  
  
Jack: If.... I.... could.... I.... would.......  
  
Trey: ...... forget him, lets talk about us!  
  
Girl: Ok! My name's Lilac!  
  
Tery: Trey, nice to meet you.... I'm new here!  
  
Lilac: Really? Me too! Lets be good friends!  
  
Jack: ....... ugh.  
  
Scene: Lunch, a black haired guy is walking around, Rachel runs into him, literally.  
  
Guy: Hm......  
  
Rachel: Oh! Oh! You talk like Heero Yuy! How cool!  
  
Guy: I _will_ kill you.  
  
Rachel: Why?  
  
Guy: Becuse... you've gotten fruit punch all over my new "Rock Rulz" shirt.  
  
Rachel: *gulp* Sorry......  
  
*The guy drags her outside, and holds her up against a wall, then he reveals his wings and does this pose that makes him look extremely scary*  
  
Rachel: HOLY PASTROMNI ON RYE BATMAN!  
  
Scene: Back to Trey and Lilac.....  
  
Lilac: So like, you wanna like, go out and stuff?  
  
Trey: Sure. Where ya wanna make out?  
  
Lilac: How about that new 15-year-old and older club, Rage against the New Generation?  
  
Trey: Sure.....  
  
Lilac: CYA!  
  
Trey: Yea...... 7 o clock........ meet me here....... ah....  
  
Jack: *still sitting in the background* Uhm, help?  
  
Scene: Back to Rachel and the new guy.....  
  
Rachel: So, you mean your here to goto Professor X's school for the gifted?  
  
Warren IV: Yea.....  
  
*Mercedes comes running up and hugs Warren IV*  
  
Mercedes: HEY BRO!  
  
Warren IV: Hiya, Benz.  
  
Mercedes: I AM NOT A CAR! *Mercedes somehow manages to form a psychic knife and nearly clip her brothers wings off* AIYA!  
  
Warren IV: Whoa.  
  
Mercedes: How'd I do that?  
  
Warren IV: I believe its like in those video games where the character suddenly uses this big ultra mega attack they're not supposed to learn for a long time.  
  
Mercedes: *like as if all the worlds questions had been answered* Oh........  
  
Scene: Grungey and Lilac are talking with each other.  
  
Lilac: Yea, it was like, totally easy! I'm sure I'll kill him tonight!  
  
Grungey: Yes, excellent....... try to kill them all..... GOTTA KILL THEM ALL, EXY-MON!  
  
Lilac: *sweatdrop* Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight.....  
  
*Lilac gets a Cell Phone and calls 911*  
  
Lilac: Hello? There's a crazy man here..... yea... Bayville High...... yea.... thanks....  
  
Grungey: *suddenly paying attention* Say whut?  
  
**COMMERICAL BREAK**  
**END COMMERICAL BREAK**  
  
Scene: The Rage against the New Generation club, Trey is getting Lilac a drink.  
  
Trey: I think she'll like this one.....  
  
*Lilac stands in the background, smirking, and fires a razor iron dart out of her skin at him*  
  
Trey: But this one might be better..... *he moves to the right and Lilac's dart hits the DJ*  
  
*Lilac fires again*  
  
Trey: But then again...... Snapple Elements are better..... *he ducks and looks at something else, while her dart hits a bowl of fruit punch that spills over someone making them look half-dead*  
  
Lilac: ARGH! TREY! STAND IN ONE PLACE!  
  
Trey: Eh, ok.....  
  
*Suddenly, Red, Psy Chick and Azreal arrive*  
  
Azreal: YO! YOU! YEA! YOU GIRL!  
  
Lilac: Eh? *has a razor sticking half out of her skin* What do you want?  
  
Red: Your trying to kill Trey!  
  
Psy Chick: We can't let you do that!  
  
Azreal: In the name of..... evilness and scarific relatons!  
  
Red: We're the X-Men! The agents of peace and harmony!  
  
Psy Chick: Surrender to our great wrath now or prepare to fight!  
  
Lilac: Oh god..... how many speeches will you people get wrong?  
  
Red: Well, Transmorph would be here to say, "Transformers! Thats right!" but he's..... had a little accident..... ehehehe...  
  
Lilac: Oh, I see..... WELL YOU AREN'T THE ONLY ONES WITH COOL COSTUMES AND NICKNAMES! *Lilac throws off her clothes revealing a uniform underneath* I'm Dart of the soon not to be revealed bad guys!  
  
Azreal: Dang, I thought I'd get some free porn.  
  
Dart: *kicks him in the nuts*  
  
Azreal: *flies in the air and screams giving off this hiddeous look, that feaks everyone out* OOOWWWWWWW!  
  
Dart: AUGH! MONSTER! MONSTER! HENTAI! EECHI! *runs off screaming*  
  
Red and Psy Chick: WAIT FOR US DART! *run off as well*  
  
Trey: So does this mean you want the Snapple Elements, or the Dr. Pepper, or the Diet Vernors? Eh? Lilac? *looks around him, notices everything is destroyed* Oh, someone must've gotten high on something... ah well, I guess I'll take the Diet Vernors for myself... 


	4. Pietro and Evan's Offsprings Role Revers...

**X-Men Evolution Next**  
  
By Someisa // someisa@dork.com // spoonybard.nu  
_An odd take on the future of X-Men Evolution in the form of humor. In this episode, Quicksilver and Spyke's daugthers play role reversal on their two still "lets kill each other right now" fathers._  
  
**********  
  
Episode 3 - Pietro and Evan's Offsprings Role Reversal Extravaganza (or, the longest chapter title in Someisa's history of writing fanfic just because it is)  
  
Scene: Its at Evan's old high school, PS5. He's watching his step daughter's volleyball game with his step son, Kevin.  
  
Kevin: Wohoo! We're winning!  
  
Evan: YEA! YOU GO GIRL!  
  
Pete: Uh, which one's Lyla again?  
  
Evan: She's that hot 'lil mutha f-er right there!  
  
*Evan points totally randomly into the crowd*  
  
Pete: I see.....  
  
*A different girl, Luna, takes a serve that Lyla was trying to intercept and thrashes the ball over the net and against the wall causing the ball to leave a huge dent in the wall.*  
  
Kevin: Wooo! She's the new girl on the team, the lovely Luna that all the guys here adore!  
  
Evan: Heh..... quite the little whippersnapper, ain't she?  
  
Scene: Down on the court.....  
  
Luna: Wahoo! IWONUSTHEGAME!!  
  
Lyla: Shut up, bitch!  
  
Luna: Huh? Wuh? Zuh?  
  
Girl #1: Like, Luna is like, so totally cool!  
  
Girl #2: Like, yea!  
  
*Luna looks up and does a peace sign to her parent..... Evan looks up at him....*  
  
Evan: ........... oh.... my......  
  
Pietro: Hey there, Daniels!  
  
Professor X *from confinement*: OH-GOD-A-MIGHTY-START-THE-THEME-SONG-NOOOOOW!  
  
**THEME SONG**  
_The X door is shown, then opens, and all the X-Men stumble out. The older X-Men stand there and hang their heads at the kids and shrug. Then we see Jack passing through a wall, and kicking a soccer ball..... at his head. The name "Intangir" appears below. Then, Rachel is seen levitating items to herself, the name "Red" appears below. Mercedes is chewing out Trey for calling her Mercedes Benz, and sends a mind bolt at him. Then she's seen project a psychic knife, and "Psy Chick" appears. Trey runs around screaming like a little girl, then is hopping up, and spins around in a circle while launching cactus spikes. The name Cactrot appears. Then, he turns and sees who he's shot them at... it's Luna. "Fenrir" appears below, and she dashes and kicks him into a metal wall. Nighttime, Warren IV is seen sitting on the roof, staring into nothingness, "Azreal" appears. Then, Lyla and Luna are shown fighting, and Evan and Pietro are shown in the background.... drinking starbucks. Lyla then opens up a metal wall, and projects a magnetism field. The name "Magnitude" appears. After, Felicia is running around being hit by fire, then screams, and freezes the fire, and the pyromaniac, in mid air ala matrix, and the name "Kelvin" appears. After, flowers and stuff are shown, and Kate makes a flower instantly bloom, then she's singing on an acustic guitar with the others in the BG sweatdropping and "Hippie" appearing. Theeeen, the group is seen posing for a picture, but Trey fires a spike at Lyla by accident, and she freaks out then rams everyone over, and the picture is taken with Trey standing at the back looking down at everyone else who's fallen over. Then the words "X-Men Evolution NEXT" appear. THEE end._  
**END THEME SONG**  
  
**COMMERICAL BREAK**  
**END COMMERICAL BREAK**  
  
Evan: I'm seeing things..... I just saw Pietro....  
  
Pete: Who's he?  
  
Evan: An old friend.......  
  
Pietro: Waitadamnedminute! I was never yer friend, you always just hung around me and my friends!  
  
Evan: .............. not this again......  
  
Scene: In the locker room after the game, Lyla is packing up, and two of Luna's friends, Kate and Loogie, are standin' around.  
  
Luna: Heyguys!  
  
Kate: That was like, groovy!  
  
Loggie *godfather voice*: Hey, yea man, it was, all good.  
  
*Luna looks into her wallet in her locker.....*  
  
Luna: SHIT! WHOTHEFUCKSTOLEMYMONEYAGAIN!  
  
Loggie: Whoa-oooh! I would never do sumthin' laike that, kapeesh?  
  
Kate: Yea like, me like, either, that's totally not cool!  
  
Lyla: *snickers* Haha! Little Miss Sports Star can do everything but remember where she puts her money, eh?  
  
Luna: Uh, yea, I guess......  
  
*Lyla walks out giggling, then, Luna, Kate and Loogie all walk out to see a big brawl going on.*  
  
Lyla: What the? Oh no! Its my embarrassing step father! Aaaargh!  
  
Luna: Ah shit, thats my dad.....  
  
*Pietro and Evan and dukin' it out in a mano el mano power-and-fist brawl*  
  
Pietro: WELL I WAS A FOUNDING MEMBER OF THE AVENGERS, BROTHERHOOD, AND X-FACTOR! BEAT THAT DANIELS!  
  
Evan: I WAS A GOOD GUY! HAVE NO CRIMINAL RECORD! AND MY WIFE DIDN'T CHEAT ON ME TWICE!  
  
Pietro: Grrr...... WHAT'D YOU JUST SAAAAY!?  
  
Luna: Mama was a slut? Maybe daddy did kill her after all and never told me....  
  
Pietro: NO LUNA! *hits Evan in the nuts* ONSLAUGHT killed your mom!  
  
Evan: But, we ALL know that the Avengers who got killed in that battle returned to Earth from that Heroes Reborn Alternate Timeline... so, where's Crystal?  
  
Pietro: For all I care? Johnny Storm's bedroom.... *hits Evan in the nuts again*  
  
Luna: Yep, mama was a dirty slut....  
  
Pietro: Yea, she was, and if you are I'm gunna kill you too-er, I mean...... uh.... right, well......  
  
Lyla: HA! YER MOM WAS A DIRTY SLUT!  
  
Evan: Actually, your mom is too...  
  
Lyla: Grrr.... Evan, shut up...  
  
Kevin: Its "dad" Lye, remember? He got married to our Madame Mother?  
  
Lyla: I am a member of the young KKK! *uses her magnetism power to make a rail fall onto Evan*  
  
Pietro: Heh, welcome the Evan Bashing Club!  
  
Lyla: Cooooooooool.  
  
Evan: !@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!@#$%^&*()!!!!!!!!!  
  
Scene: Later, Evan is at the Mansion with Pete and Rogue.  
  
Evan: OWWWWWWW! MY NUTS'RE BROKEN!  
  
Rogue: Fahyne, I'll got getcha some otha ones.....  
  
*Rogue returns with a can of Planters Salt and Honey Roasted*  
  
Rogue: Here!  
  
Evan: Gee, thanks! *Evan begins to eat them, do'h!*  
  
*That night at school, Luna, Kate and Loogie are doing Mission: Impossible moves waiting for the thief to come who rips them off.*  
  
Luna: GODWHERETHEHELLARETHEY!?!?  
  
*Suddenly, the lockers all start to move, and all open up*  
  
Kate: You like, totally had to like, jinx that, didn't you?  
  
*Lyla appears*  
  
Kate: Lyla?!?!  
  
Lyla: What the-? The name's Magnitude, freaks! Where're you guys here!?!  
  
Loogie: Pride, mo man, pride.  
  
Magnitude: GRRRRRRRRRR-! I'll just have to kill you myself!  
  
Luna: NOTSOFASTBITCH!  
  
*Luna kicks Magnitude into a locker, and then punches her*  
  
Magnitude: HOLY FARK THAT HURTS!  
  
Luna: TASTE SUPERHUMAN CLASS 500 POWER BI-OTCH!  
  
*Suddenly, the police show up*  
  
Police Officer: Quick! Arrest those kids!  
  
Kate: *runs off with Loogie and hides* Oh no!  
  
Loogie: We should like, do sumthin', y'know?  
  
**COMMERICAL BREAK**  
**END COMMERICAL BREAK**  
  
*At the Mansion....*  
  
Kitty: Hey, Evan! The new Automatic Cerebro detected a mutant signature at the game.... or well, two! Do you know who it could be...?  
  
Evan: Uh........ yes.... actually...... I do have a pretty good idea.....  
  
*At Starbucks, Evan and Pietro are "talking"*  
  
Pietro: Whattaya want, man?  
  
Evan: Well.... its about your daughter....  
  
Pietro: *stands up knocking over the table and the coffee* AREYOUTRYINGTOHITONHERYOUSICKBASTARD?  
Evan : N-nooo!  
  
Pietro: BECAUSEIFYOURAREI'MGUNNAKILLYOUYOUSTUPIDASS!  
  
Evan: I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU'D LET HER JOIN US AT THE INSTITUTE!  
  
Pietro: ....... WHAT!?!?!?!?!?  
  
*Suddenly, Kate and Loogie runs in*  
  
Kate: MR. MAXIMOFF! MR. DANIELS! YOUR DAUGHTERS JUST GOT ARRESTED!  
  
Loogie: This dun got nutin' to do with me.... ya hear?  
  
Pietro: Oh great... what for?  
  
Kate: Like, Mr. Daniels, _your_ daugther was stealing stuff out of lockers, and Luna was defending her pride, and like, the police showed up...  
  
Pietro: *laughs* Well! Would ya getta load of that!?  
  
Evan: *twitch* Shut.... up.......  
  
Scene: At the police station.....  
  
Luna: Daaaaad! I did NOTHING wrong! THEY can vouch for me!  
  
Pietro: Yea yea... I'm here to pay yer bail.  
  
Evan: Ok Lyla, why were you stealing from people's lockers?  
  
Lyla: Its simple really.... YOU DON'T GIVE ME AN ALLOWENCE!  
  
Evan: ITS CALLED GETTING A JOB!  
  
Lyla: Hmph! Well, I'd get a job if I DIDN'T HAVE SO MUCH HOMEWORK AND YOU DIDN'T MAKE ME DO CHORES NON-STOP!  
  
Evan: Well..... uhm.... *can't think of a back lash* Grrr....  
  
Pietro: Well, cya Evan!  
  
Luna: Byebyebitch!  
  
Evan: Wa-ait! Pietro.... about my offer....  
  
Pietro: Luna?  
  
Luna: Yes?  
  
Pietro: Do you wanna go live with a bunch of angsty teenagers in a town in the bonodocks?  
  
Luna: ...... uhm, sure....  
  
Pietro: Theeeere ya go Daniels! Here sweetie, go ahead and start up the car....  
  
Luna: Ok! *goes out*  
  
Pietro: *stares at Daniels* If ANYTHING happens to my little Princess, YOUR A DEAD MAN, DANIELS! *walks out*  
  
Evan: *gulp*  
  
Lyla: HEY! WOULD SOMEONE PAY ATTENTION TO ME? YOO-HOOO! OVER HEEEERE! HALLOOOOO! PEEEEOOOPPPPLLLEEEE! 


End file.
